Today my humour was at full pace whilst I had the start of my nipple reconstruction done. They handed me a mirror and said ‘So where do you think your nipple should be?’ I looked at the men present in the room and thought hang on guys your men where do you think it should be? The surgeon was a women and I thought nope you can’t say that. So I bit my lip and said here pointing to my chest. I smiled and plonked my finger in the area I thought was right before she lost patience with me. She knew I was trying to make fun out of a very serious situation. Then I turned to the other male plastic surgeon and said, ‘What do you think?’ The female plastic surgeon stepped in quick smart. ‘No I am asking you where you want your nipple to be. You have to live with it.’ I never knew how hard it was to position a bloody nipple. The theatre bed back went up and down with me looking in a mirror for five minutes or so until we finally agreed on the position with a marker pen marking the area.
Anyway one hour later my nipple is formed and I am bandaged up. The female surgeon said you have a Madonna esque theme going on so don’t be shocked. They had put a cup over my reconstructed nipple and taped it in place to protect it. All I kept thinking was ok I have a fitted red shirt how on earth am I going to button it. Why they did not say please wear a loose fitted top is beyond me. Thankfully I had brought a large rain Mack to protect me from the strange looks people will give when I go on the underground. So this is one step closer to a new nipple fingers crossed it takes.
Then she had to numb the area with a local. Boy I could of jumped and kissed the theatre ceiling. The pain was in the area where once my back muscle was happy to be. The sensation was not natural and made me feel sick. A nurse held my hand whilst I gritted my teeth. The surgeon was brilliant and took her time, but I never thought a few pricks could create some many profanities. I of cause kept a dignified Ouch! And that hurts.
Once my chest was numb and thoroughly sterilised in iodine a curtain was put up at my request so the fun could begin. The female surgeon told me to put my hands under my bottom. Don’t know why and I didn’t ask. Then they got busy with the scalpels whilst I and a male nurse chatted to ease the boredom. We spoke about my two girls and what I did for a job. I told him that I was going into acting as well as designing costumes for theatrical projects. The male nurse then mentioned how someone he knew had met a girl who happened to do a porno whilst studying to be a lawyer. Don’t ask me where this conversation came from. Maybe he thought I should go into porn or maybe it was to do with the fact I had my chest out in full view, but apparently his friend thought he had scored big time because his now girlfriend had done a porn movie. Then the male nurse said, ‘Did you know that the men have a rougher ride than the girls during the making of a porn movie?’ My reply was, ‘Personally I have never done a porn movie?’ Now I am not uncomfortable with the conversation in fact I am bemused. But I do believe they will have given the young man a talking to later. If I had mentioned or insinuated anything to do with porn to create the conversation then fine, but I was talking about my girls and skirted across the acting not giving any details at all. Strange how having your tits out on a table moulds a conversation.
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