Resignation Time!

28^th October 2010

I go into the theatre to be put in my place. I had gone in last Saturday all excited at the fact the calendar will now be in the public domain, but a piece of paper had been sent round all volunteers/staff requesting all talk remain theatre talk not personal issues happening outside. I found this totally uncalled at the time. I ignored the tension and got on with the costumes. Then once the day had finished. I went up to one of the older volunteers and showed her the article I had done in the paper. She was so proud of me and the picture. Another two people were present at the time. I left the theatre thinking nothing of what I had done. To me it was me just feeling proud at what I had achieved.

Then today I go into work feeling rather proud of all the attention the calendar is receiving and something was not right. The director pulled me aside at the end to say they understood the fact I had gone through cancer, but a few people have taken offence to me discussing my cancer so openly and a pupil had got upset. Apparently I was accused of trying to push people into buying the calendar at the theatre. I find this offensive considering it is not in my character to sell nothing to anyone. In fact I had ordered ten calendars and I was paying for them. I would give away calendars as gifts, but no way would I pressurise anyone into buying it. Not only but it was explained a few people had been affected by cancer in the theatre not just me. That each person has their own way of dealing with this disease and I have a way of letting my mouth run away with me. That I was not showing any due consideration to others affected by cancer especially the young people in the theatre.

This theatre was happy when I was silent and could provide costumes. The attention was focused on the theatre and its achievements. This conversation leaves me feeling uncomfortable and awkward. Was this just the beginning of more excuses. I am totally confused with the direction the conversation has gone, but not surprised.

A serious accusation has been made about me. All the other girls are getting work colleagues and associates to buy the calendar. Yet not once have I put a leaflet or poster forward to staff. I handed a poster to the Theatre to look at in the early stages which I noted had been shoved in the back of a draw. But this was a article that was in the local press that others would of seen and read anyway. And yes when people have asked how I am doing I have spoke about the cancer and my treatment.

It takes people with runaway mouths with guts in my eye to do what I have done. Yes I talk a lot and I mean a lot, and yes I should be sensitive to others, but this conversation was poorly timed. there were people present so i could not respond. 

Cancer is a sensitive subject, but should people who are not letting this disease control them shut themselves away. Should all cancer suffers be the typical stereo type of tears and pain that the general public want to perceive? Is that what raises cash?

I have felt for some time that the volunteer work I do has ran its course. It is time for me to move on, but if I leave this theatre company I have nothing or at least that is how I feel. I could go looking elsewhere for another volunteer position, but I am uncertain of the reference if I react.

I emailed a letter of resignation to the director of the theatre and the other volunteers. Stating my reasons for leaving and my feelings about the conversation that took place. It was received like a rock thrown into a pond, but I knew it had to be done. It was mentioned  in a telephone message left on voice mail I was not a qualified costume designer just a seamstress (I have never said I am a qualified costume designer. In fact I had told them I wanted to do a course in costume design). That a lot of my work the they had done. (This is funny because I have evidence that shows I did my fair share of sewing at home.) and I had asked for payment on the upcoming projects.

(This is which is true and the theatre said they would look into it. I have been volunteering at the theatre for three years. If I added up the amount of time compared to monies received to cover staff when ill, late or left. This amounts to less than the theatre insinuates not including travel expenses which are covered as a volunteer. Yet the theatre says I was paid for my time.)  

I find the whole conversation via email and telephone message bordering on insulting. People cannot impose their wishes on volunteers especially when they are offering their services freely. No contracts were signed so I was not obligated to do anything. It was suggested I was looking for sympathy or attention without due consideration to others, but I am a positive over powering individual. Some would say at times offensive with my direct approach. That I like to speak my mind too freely. So how can I be looking for sympathy? The upset I may of caused a child has left me confused. I do not remember sitting down and telling a child at all. Why would I? The fact that I had my surgery last year and my treatment has not involved chemotherapy etc. The way the email has been worded is totally misleading and prying into my personal affairs. Which is a breach of privacy on both me and the child.

The Theatres efforts at trying to get me to respond by insulting me and discussing personal information are being ignored.

I have personally been threw to much in my life time to allow one individual paint me in a negative light. If this is their only defences for me doing something of a positive nature than they have failed. So onward and upward I say. Who knows what adventure is waiting around the corner.

I’ve booked my tickets for the calendar launch party and everything is positive. I feel like a heap of troubles have been lifted from my shoulders. Finally I am starting to see some light.

I am also on a mission to disprove the seamstress comment left on my phone. After all the wages I requested was to finance a degree I need to better myself.

I like to thrive on being the down trodden individual others try to portray. I am not like everyone else and no-one will make me feel like I am less than anyone else either. My friends know I would not upset a child intentionally, but the comments I received from the theatre were intended to hurt me and shed doubt on my abilities.

Not only that but other BC women have come forward saying how they have gone through similar situations. How they had been released from work without due care or consideration. That they even used complaints past or present to reflect on their ability to work. It is all down to money and time once again to why people are treated in such a harsh manner. Yes, my work was as a volunteer not an employee, but we all have rights.